Do you feel like this?

I may be quiet but. . .

I'm not exactly shy, but I don't like to talk a lot. Most of the time, I just like to sit and think about random things. People always ask me if I'm OK or if I'm mad when I am quiet and really, I am just thinking. 

Don't get me wrong, I have a voice, I just use my voice differently than most. For starters, I like to talk with my hands :P Sign language is part of my weird comfort zone. I try to make the way I dress a statement. Clothes don't define me, but they are an outward statement of who I am inside. No, I don't have fringe jackets and gold headbands inside of me, but my clothes help give me my voice. I don't want to have my voice lost in the crowd, I want to be different. People need to stop trying to hear me, they need to listen with their eyes, see me for who I am.

If you're not going to speak up, how is the world supposed to know you exist? So make some noise :) Whether it is your clothes that make you louder or hands that can talk for you, find your voice.

I may be quiet but I do have a voice :)

I promised. . .

About 3 years ago, I had someone pretty important in my life. They would read my dorky blog all the time. Then one day, out of the blue, they asked me to make them a promise. The asked me to promise them that I would never stop writing down my strange, cheesy, random thoughts.

I am still keeping that promise.

So, if that someone is now reading my new and improved blog, THANK YOU. My many fads, phases, and life stories have helped me become the person I am now. I am simply me, and I'm not afraid to let the world see :)

The enemy that is Scantron

I HATE THESE THINGS!

For many reasons actually.

I know that standardized testing can be accurate for how much you remember about the loads of information teachers throw at you for 6+ hours a day, but these really do not define you.

I don't think in terms of 123 or ABC. I think in colors and pictures and anything else that is bigger than the bubbles on a Scantron sheet.

When I am about to take a test, I always try my best to determine the answers, but I am human. I get nervous, I stress out if I have to erase my answer, and I fidget.

I had to have someone assess me on how well I knew ASL. As soon as I heard "assessment" I got really nervous. This, however, was my favorite test ever! The person giving me this test, just signed with me. There was no Scantron, no right or wrong answer. I got to USE my knowledge and show them what I could do :) Now, I know that there are very few ways to give an ASL test but it was very refreshing after a lifetime of bubble sheets.

I have nothing against the education system whatsoever. But students try to shape their life around the results on Scantron. Just because there isn't a bubble for free spirits, normal stressing teenagers, or jocks that you can fill in, doesn't mean you aren't one of the best people in this world :)

Life is wonderful because of the people in it. Do your best on these ridiculous, robot corrected tests. They don't know your worth, potential, or how unique you are. Just because EVERYONE is filling in these bubbles, doesn't mean you have to be like everyone else.

You are not defined by a Scantron.

We have a song :)

The blog I had before this one ( :P), I created  a soundtrack to my life :) It was pretty rad and it helped me express myself better.

Now, I still do that, but instead of life events, I pair a song with a person in my life. And yes, I throw in an awesome dance number as well :)

I walk to the beat of the song I have in my head and that beat changes all the time because I see so many different people every day!

The song either has do to with a memory or it just reminds me of you. Everyone is different, no song is the same, and I get to dance to the beat of whoever you are for a short amount of time :)

Ask me sometime, ask me who I'm listening to, ask me why we have a song or what our song is :)

Let's Dance

I connect really well with music and right now there is this one song that just makes me want to get up and DANCE!

This song is just pure happiness to me and it makes me smile every time.

Let's Dance by Chris Montez

Yes, it is an old song..... WHO CARES! It has a beat that makes it hard for me to sit still and lyrics and melody that always make me smile :)

Life is about being happy and enjoying all the silly moments. So if you see me dancing like a dork, I am probably listening to this song :) It makes me incredibly happy and makes the world around me seem brighter and colorful :)

Being the day dream that I am :P I was listening to this song today during lunch. I was looking at all the people around me and imagined that the song came on over the speaker and everyone started dancing :)

Music should just make you want to move and feel good :)

So.....


LETS DANCE! :)

Eye Contact

I've recently noticed that whenever I make eye contact with someone I have known for a long time, I almost instantly call to mind all the past history I have with that person.

When  I look at my UUBFF, every sugar high, cry fest, or embarrassing moment flashes through my memory :)

When I look into the brown eyes of someone I have known for almost six years, I feel connected and disconnected at the same time. All the fun, drama, and friendship sneaks through in one glance.

I don't know what people see when they look at me...so I wouldn't mind it if you told me.

You can tell a lot about a person by the way they make you feel when you hold their gaze or look them directly in the eye. Look past the awkwardness and look into the history you have with that person.

My Heart is in fact a Stereo

I pretty much live and breathe music. I love being able to connect with music; the lyrics, rhythm, melody, everything!

Music was my first passion that has always been in my life :) I can play the guitar, piano, and the ukulele however I could not sing to save my life :P But music is a very important part of my life :)

Whenever I'm alone and a good song comes on the radio or my iPod, there is no stopping me from going into a dorky dance party. If the song is right, the music won't let me hold still!

One of the biggest blessings of being both a lover of good music and a dancer is that they go hand in hand. Its not just movement to a cool song. The music creates a feeling or emotion and the body is able to tell the story without any words. The body and the music are connected in every way.

Have you ever turned the radio up so loud or turned the bass up that you could feel the beat inside your chest? It really makes YOU feel like a stereo :)

Sleepless in Salt Lake

Last summer, my family went on a vacation to Seattle, Washington.......I LOVED IT! :)

I am the type of hippie that loves that sun but welcomes and encourages rain and a little bit of chill. So Spring is my favorite season of the year :) While we were in Seattle, I got a little taste of both and I instantly fell in love with the city!

Walking through the streets and seeing the sights, everything was new and exciting! The entire city has such a romantic feel to it that appeals to everyone. I would be completely and utterly content and happy if I lived there :) Hopefully one day I will live there :)

But for now, instead of being Sleepless in Seattle, I'm Sleepless in Salt Lake.

Can't wait to go back :)

New Eyes

I have worn and needed glasses since I was in the 4th grade. At first I was nervous about it but I fell in love with they way they looked :)

In 9th grade, I got contacts because I was on Dance Company and it was just easier. I soon switched back to glasses when I saw a pair of real prescription NERD glasses :)

Glasses for me are a necessity. I am as blind as a bat (no exaggeration) When I'm not wearing glasses I squint and everything is blurry.

My point to all of this?

I have been hiding behind my glasses. When I danced with contacts, I could the faces of the audience and it made me nervous. Now, I am all about free expression and being open and honest with people. So the glasses are coming off.

I let a material object become a major part of me. Glasses were my safety barrier. Yes, I like the way they look, but I am different now. I'm no longer nervous of the faces in the audiences or crowds.

I do feel like I have been looking at the world through new eyes lately because of how different I am. Change is good :)

I stuff the pockets :)

Girls, we all do this......we always steal a guy's hoodie. It just happens and we all know that they are better than our hoodies (and sometimes smell better).

I was about to freeze to death during lunch when I noticed my friend's hoodie just sitting next to me. After asking him if I could use it, I ended up keeping it for the rest of the day. He was really cool about it and he is such a sweetheart (and single) ;)

This is what I do with the hoodies I steal from boys, I stuff their pockets :P I stuffed his pockets with Kit-Kats and put a little note in there for him. I didn't tell him so I hoped he would find the surprise before the chocolate melted (he did).

I just think it is really fun to return the favor :)

I am engaged. . .

I want to share with you a very special experience I had.

Today was the 184th General Conference for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and I was reassured by the leaders of my faith that this gospel and church is true.

I have always worn my CTR ring on my left hand ring finger. People always think I'm weird but there is a certain reason why.

One of my favorite Sunday School lessons, our teacher had us write down a list of qualities we want for our future eternal companion. So imagine your ideal qualities you would want. Now, reverse it this list and see how many of the qualities you wrote down are qualities that you yourself currently have. If you expect someone to be your perfect spouse, I believe it is only fair and equally beneficial to possess these qualities in yourself.

The one major quality I want my future Husband to have is to love the Lord and to live the teachings of this gospel. So, if I expect that in him, I must develop that quality in myself. I wear my CTR ring on my ring finger because I am striving to love the Lord with everything I am. I am engaged to the gospel of Jesus Christ. I want to become the best I can be.

There is no one that is perfect on the Earth, but there is someone that will be perfect for me. I can't wait to meet the person who loves the Lord as much as I do.