Noise

Have you just gone through a moment in life where all you hear is noise? Almost like the world is just on fast forward?

Today, I had one of those moments.

I wont lie, I woke up tired but something about today...everything was noise. Instead of listening to music on the way to school, I just had a moment to think. Actually think and be able to hear myself. But when I got to school, my peers were on fast forward and full blast.

I'm not saying people should press pause and meditate, but just slow down and smell the daisies every now and then.

Defy Gravity

Upside Down

I just barely watched this movie. . . IT WAS FANTASTIC :)

I'm not your average, traditional chick flick movie watcher - I like the unusual couples and unusual plots. This movie is definitely unusual.

What I love most is that this couple in the movie eventually defy gravity and go against the norms of their societies. I don't think I would ever be in love with someone who lived in a world other than my own, but if I ever did :P I would hope we would try to defy gravity to be together :) I am still waiting for the day when someone will walk into my life and turn my life upside down. That's what love is, right? ;)

This is also a cute date night movie if you are a nerdy romantic like myself :)

The Sky is a Masterpiece

Normally people say to stop and smell the roses, but today, it's a rainstorm.

I was reading outside (North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell in case you were wondering) and the sun was shining through fluffy white clouds with patches of blue sky. I finally noticed that it was getting darker and darker when I looked up and saw this ominous grey cloud blocking out the sun. A rain storm was approaching. The wind picked up and it was getting colder. At this point I had stopped reading my book but instead I was watching the blue fade behind the grey rain clouds.

Generally, people just glance at the sky once and call it good. But the way a storm takes over the sky is beautiful! Next time it looks like it might be a downpour, stop and watch the scenery in the sky slowly change from relaxing and warm to dark and fierce...

Mother Nature is an excellent artist!

The Gentleman

Today as I walked into school, I was surprised to see two handsome boys holding the doors open for people as they walked in. I don't know if they were waiting for someone or if they just felt like doing a good deed for people but I was really appreciative of them :)

Our society has completely disregarded the role the Gentleman plays in every day life and ladies have lost faith that a guy might actually hold a door open for them or do something chivalrous. But I am here to say that  I will not lower my standard of the Gentleman.

The Gentleman is someone who isn't classified by any number of specific things. Just in the way he presents himself around people. One of the biggest thing I hope for and look for in a guy is what he is willing to do in order to get my attention. The Gentleman is a guy who pays attention, who is comfortable laughing at himself, and a guy who genuinely cares. He shouldn't have to worry about what his friends think.

Something about the boys that were holding the doors open for people this morning that I admire about them, is that they go the extra mile for anyone, not just the girls they date or are interested in. The Gentleman should do the same, do things just because, do something kind just because you feel like it :)

The boys this morning that held the door for me restored my faith that my Gentleman is still out there :)

Stay Tough

I remember on one of the most stressful days of my senior year, I had a friend ask me if I was going to be ok. At the time I didn't know, but he did. He told said "Your tough, you can handle anything." I didn't believe him until now.

I got through the stress and  I made it out alive in one piece.

He's the kind of friend that can make anyone smile, has an extremely unique personality, and has a love for all kinds of music. Something I love about him is that he will walk up to you and tell you to the listen to the song that is playing and he won't say anything, he just listens with you. He knows how to truly listen; he speaks when words are needed but he knows how to appreciate the silence.

He's one of kind and life is a lot easier to stay tough when I have him as a friend :)

In a crowded room

Every where I go I always seem to be part of a crowd. The store, school, or any other place. I am just one in a mass of people. They are always talking and making noise. This bothers me for 2 reasons. First, I am slightly claustrophobic so being stuck in a crowd isn't my idea of a good time. Second, I feel like my voice gets lost in all these people and I can't hear myself think.

My solution? Put my headphones in and drown them out. I have the ability to be in my own world in a crowded place. Music helps me think and get away from the crazy world I am surrounded by.

I don't feel like I need to be in my own world all the time, just when my thoughts get lost and I have to go look for them :P

Dipped in Sunshine

I have never told anyone the real reason why I chose to dye my hair the way I did. I have dark brown hair but it melts into a light blondish/auburn color.

I love trying new things and this is the first time I have ever dyed my hair. Since the weather has warmed up, being in the sun is one of my favorite things :) Being outside in general is my favorite :) So when I felt like a change, I was outside, the sun was shining, and I was playing with my hair. I tried to imagine what it would be like if I dipped the ends of my hair in sunlight :)

The closest I will ever get to dipping my hair in pure sunlight is dying my hair the way I have. So, my melt isn't a melt, its the bottom of my hair dipped in sunshine.

"You are unusual"

I was talking to one of my sweetest friends this morning and as he was listening to my thoughts on how ridiculous high school is, he looked and at me and simply said "You are unusual."

Best compliment someone could give me :)

For the first time this school year, someone understood my point of view on my life and the bubble I am in. After he called me unusual, he apologized but said it was a good kind of unusual because he doesn't know anyone that thinks like me. He called it "My Theory".

I am unusual because I choose to be.

Book Smell

One of my friends recently caught me smelling the book I was reading...that's right, I was SMELLING my book.

I love being able to hold a book in my hands and physically turn the pages instead of clicking a button (Sorry Kindle...) Seriously though, books have a smell that takes you to another world! A Kindle can't do that. I have never once felt like curling up with a Kindle in a blanket....it just doesn't do it for me.

If you were to look inside my back pack, I would have 3 books in with all my school notebooks. I have Pride & Prejudice, Enrique's Journey, and North & South. I also have 2 more books on hold at the library, 1 book checked out, and I am planning on going to Barnes & Noble sometime in the next few days. I have a problem, you don't need to tell me. But now that I am a tourist in my own city, my only way to check out of life for a few moments are my books. I have WORLDS at my fingertips! :) So I guess in reality, anyone who loves to read, is a tourist. They explore and mentally travel to the places they read about :)

So, go the the library, pick your world, make sure you like the smell of the pages, and travel to somewhere unknown and new :)

Earthing

As you know or may have guessed, I am sort of a flower child. I enjoy being outside, wearing gold headbands, and listening to music that no one has every heard of.

However, my mom may be connected with her inner flower child than I am.

I was outside on my driveway saying goodbye to my sister when my stood on the grass in her bare feet and called it "Earthing". Apparently it is really good for you :P

Since then, we spend a lot of time outside reading or doing whatever with out feet in the grass, earthing. As ridiculous as that may sound to some people, this has become some of my favorite times I spend with my mom :) I've said before that I am a bit of a misfit in my family and  I fully accept that because being different is fun :) But now my mom is just as weird and different as I am :)

You gave me Time :)

I always hear my mom say that the most valuable thing you can give someone is your time :)

I used to have this friend that liked to go on runs in the evenings (he's kind of a health nut) and he would stop by my house. The talks we would have slowly became my favorite moments, and one my favorite times with him.

These chats we would have wouldn't be super deep serious discussions. We never really talked about anything of importance. I just enjoyed spending time with him. He never had a set time when he would go for a run, he would just randomly stop by. Sometimes the stars would be shining, the sun would be setting, or it was just plain dark. No matter what though, we would just talk.

So, if You're reading this, thank you for giving me your time :) We haven't talked in a while but I was always grateful when you take time away from your jogs to listen to rants, ask me about my day, or even give me feedback on my homecoming dress that one time because I was afraid my date wouldn't like it :P When winter came, I didn't really miss these small moments. Then I was outside reading on the front lawn when it warmed up and had one of those weird leftover reflexes of waiting for something. I realized I was expecting to see you running down my street probably soaking wet because you got caught in some sprinklers again (that actually happened) :)

I don't wait anymore. I just read until the sun goes down :)

I am a tourist. . .

Because I am a lover of music,  I am always captivated by the lyrics and meaning and how much I connect with what they say.

Recently, this song has describe my emotion perfectly:

Tourist by Death Cab for Cutie

When there's a burning in your heart
An endless yearning in your heart
Build it bigger than the sun
Let it grow, let it grow
When there's a burning in your heart
Don't be alarmed

This fire grows higher

When there's a doubt within your mind
Because you're thinking all the time
Framing rights into wrongs
Move along, move along
When there's a doubt within your mind

When there's a burning in your heart
And you think it'll burst apart
Or there's nothing to feel
Save the tears, save the tears
When there's a burning in your heart

And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born
Then it's time to go
And define your destination
There's so many different places to call home
Because when you find yourself the villain in the story you have written
It's plain to see
That sometimes the best intentions are in need of redemptions
Would you agree?
If so please show me

 

Lately, I have felt like a tourist in my own life. I've always been sort of a misfit, even in my family, but I've never truly felt out of place until now. I love my hometown and the people in it but I think with all of the changes that are about to take place in my life, I've outgrown my the place I have always lived.

 

When I say I am a misfit in my family, all that means is that I am a little bit more adventurous when it comes to style, music, and hobbies. Just the other day, my sister said I looked like a gypsy when I walked out the door to go somewhere. I said thank you because that was what I was going for :P But I love my family! They are my roots and they support me in whatever  I do in life :) There love and support is something that I will always call home :)

 

The reason why I feel like a tourist is simply because of one place. High School.  I feel trapped in that comfort zone of a bubble they call HIGH SCHOOL. Every one seems to accept the way things are and they get comfortable. All the seniors in my class are saying they don't want to graduate because they want to stay with their friends. They want to stay in bubble when there is a beautiful world to explore and discover at their fingertips.

 

Yes, the world is a scary place. The world is unknown to most of them. The world is unknown to me even. But college and life are an adventure just WAITING to happen! I'm not asking for it to happen now, but I'm not asking for that adventure to be put on hold either. 

 

I am a tourist in my own city because it is time for me to go and discover who I am in this world.  The burning in my heart pulling me towards my adventure and the longer  I wait, the more I think I'll burst apart.

 

It's time to go and define MY destination :)