I am a tourist. . .

Because I am a lover of music,  I am always captivated by the lyrics and meaning and how much I connect with what they say.

Recently, this song has describe my emotion perfectly:

Tourist by Death Cab for Cutie

When there's a burning in your heart
An endless yearning in your heart
Build it bigger than the sun
Let it grow, let it grow
When there's a burning in your heart
Don't be alarmed

This fire grows higher

When there's a doubt within your mind
Because you're thinking all the time
Framing rights into wrongs
Move along, move along
When there's a doubt within your mind

When there's a burning in your heart
And you think it'll burst apart
Or there's nothing to feel
Save the tears, save the tears
When there's a burning in your heart

And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born
Then it's time to go
And define your destination
There's so many different places to call home
Because when you find yourself the villain in the story you have written
It's plain to see
That sometimes the best intentions are in need of redemptions
Would you agree?
If so please show me

 

Lately, I have felt like a tourist in my own life. I've always been sort of a misfit, even in my family, but I've never truly felt out of place until now. I love my hometown and the people in it but I think with all of the changes that are about to take place in my life, I've outgrown my the place I have always lived.

 

When I say I am a misfit in my family, all that means is that I am a little bit more adventurous when it comes to style, music, and hobbies. Just the other day, my sister said I looked like a gypsy when I walked out the door to go somewhere. I said thank you because that was what I was going for :P But I love my family! They are my roots and they support me in whatever  I do in life :) There love and support is something that I will always call home :)

 

The reason why I feel like a tourist is simply because of one place. High School.  I feel trapped in that comfort zone of a bubble they call HIGH SCHOOL. Every one seems to accept the way things are and they get comfortable. All the seniors in my class are saying they don't want to graduate because they want to stay with their friends. They want to stay in bubble when there is a beautiful world to explore and discover at their fingertips.

 

Yes, the world is a scary place. The world is unknown to most of them. The world is unknown to me even. But college and life are an adventure just WAITING to happen! I'm not asking for it to happen now, but I'm not asking for that adventure to be put on hold either. 

 

I am a tourist in my own city because it is time for me to go and discover who I am in this world.  The burning in my heart pulling me towards my adventure and the longer  I wait, the more I think I'll burst apart.

 

It's time to go and define MY destination :)